Monday, August 17, 2015

#10 - Kabaya Saku Saku Panda Face Monaka Mix Cookie Chocolate White Air Chocolate

Confession time: I do not always eat things that are good for me. It's shocking, I know. It's not that I don't care about my health, it's just that the things I want to eat aren't always the things I should eat. If you are a human being, you can probably relate. But it could be worse: I could be a giant panda.

In case you didn't know, the giant panda spends anywhere from 10 to16 hours each day either looking for or eating food (the rest is spent sleeping, of course), consuming as much as 40 pounds of bamboo within a 24-hour period (fortunately, bamboo grows at crazy rates; you can practically watch it grow). Why the obsession with eating, you ask? Well, though the giant panda has a digestive system suited to carnivorous fare, it eats bamboo almost exclusively and thus must eat massive quantities for a sufficient amount of nutrients. In other words, much of what it eats is worthless, nutritionally speaking (if one can speak nutritionally). So, really, the only difference between me and a giant panda is that the panda's poor diet will make it more adorable, while mine will make me look more and more like Jabba the Hutt with hair and glasses. Oh, to be a giant panda!

It should be fairly obvious that candy is one of the less nutritious edible items I enjoy, but I occasionally am asked by one of my sweets blog benefactors a question like "Does it have to be candy?" No, it does not. Such was the case when a friend was shopping in a Korean market and texted that she had found a "Korean cookie?" It turns out it was not a Korean cookie; it was Japanese, and I'm not even sure about the "cookie" part. As this friend happens to be half Korean, I'm afraid the mistake has probably brought shame on her family for generations to come, but I got a cookie (of sorts) out of it, so I guess it evens out in the end.

Now, despite having watched my share of anime, I am unable to read Japanese, so I could not decipher the product name (though it does look like it contains "DEth"). Therefore, I had to put my trust in Google, which is always a frightening thought. I found a few matches but decided to go with the name given by Tsunami.hk, because Hong Kong (you may know it by its official name: Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China) is owned by China, and the giant panda is native to China, so they must know the proper English name, right?

And so it is with great excitement that I present to you Kabaya Saku Saku Panda Face Monaka Mix Cookie Chocolate White Air Chocolate:

No, you are not dreaming; this really exists! Oh, joy beyond joy!

Sometimes I think the strategy for Japanese package design consists of ingesting obscene amounts of sugar and sake, then multiplying the resulting feeling by a factor of 10,000 and trying to explain it with pictures. I mean that in the best possible way; it's like a celebration of all that is good and wonderful in the world! The cartoon panda is in a state of total euphoria at the prospect of a treat designed after him (or her; male and female pandas look an awful lot alike). The panda "cookie" is proclaiming with glee (and what appears to be stinky breath?) some new feature or other. I almost feel as if the product is throwing me a party just for selecting it. So, while it may not be the most elegant design I've seen, it is certainly fun and in keeping with the mood of the treat. I even think my inability to read the text adds to the charm in this case.

Japan loves pandas (I will be using "panda" to mean "giant panda," just in case there was any confusion here) and tends to paint them in as cutesy a light as possible. There's some sense in that. Pandas, after all, do have a natural talent for cuteness. But they are also tricky. For instance, scientists for years thought they (the pandas, not the scientists) were closely related to raccoons, until DNA testing showed them to be more like bears (to be fair, it seems a little obvious to me). In addition, pandas have pseudo-thumbs, which are actually extensions of wrist bones that help them hold bamboo while eating. Something just seems sneaky about that, so I find it difficult to fully trust a panda, even one who is so intent on getting me to eat sweets.

The anti-mullet. Party on the front, business on the back.

The back of the package is the more "serious" side, in the same way that TMZ is a more serious news source than The Onion (actually, that one may be up for debate). There are several friendly pandas trying to educate me on all sorts of important matters, but their wisdom is wasted on me; I have not the faintest idea what they're saying. Even so, I appreciate their willingness to help. A disagreeable cartoon panda would be a total buzzkill.

Finally, some Japanese I can read!

Thankfully, it does not take a Japanese scholar to recognize a "best before" date, and I am for once well within the proper time frame.

Above that (under the flap) is a drawing of a panda cookie with the ear bitten off and some writing on the side. Whether it is a recommendation or warning, I do not know. Just to be safe, I thought it would be best to avoid starting with that particular ear. I would not want to make any errors and sabotage my enjoyment of my Kabaya Saku Saku Panda Face Monaka Mix Cookie Chocolate White Air Chocolate. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time I've failed in attempting to eat a Japanese product.

Am I the only one who finds this alarming?

The other side contains more recommendations or warnings. At this point, it's anyone's guess as to where to start the snacking, but seeing the death of a panda cookie defined in so many ways brings the fun level down ever so slightly. In the end, I decided on the ear to the left (the panda's right), as that was not pictured. If I end up being wrong, so be it; I must live with the consequences of my choices.

The nutritional information (and possibly ingredients list) is also contained in this section, as well as a nice little diagram of the cookie's components. I see the mention of 120 Calories, but whether that applies to the whole thing or just a small section, I cannot say. If it IS the entire cookie, it's not too terrible, given the size.

With that, I had gotten just about all I could from the packaging, so there was nothing left but to open it up and see the treat with my very own eyes:

Could this be a prop from Indian Jones and the Cookie of Doom?

The cookie does bear a striking resemblance to the image on the packaging, albeit not quite so smooth. I do think, however, it could just as easily pass as a "Jack Skellington with Mickey Mouse Ears" cookie, a possibility made all the more plausible by the container's likeness to a tomb or coffin of some sort. Honestly, the overall appearance reminds me a bit of an archeological discovery, what with the hint of decay when compared to the glossy product shot. That's not necessarily a problem; things have just taken a dark turn since removing the cookie from its cheerful wrappings. Maybe it's actually meant to be a panda mummy cookie and the package is the "sarcophagus" relating the tales of the panda's extravagant life. I don't hate that idea, wrong though it may be. Regardless, I always prefer for my cookies to be shaped like things, so Kabaya's on the right track.

By the way, it does not smell old or decayed by any means. It has a pleasant fragrance of processed chocolate and vanilla, just as it should.

How could you resist eating a face like this?

I expected the back to be flat and uninteresting, but I could not have been more wrong. The crazed panda face is an amusing bonus component to the treat, even with its decomposed (or possibly diseased) ear. Again, I could imagine it to be an artifact from some ancient civilization that valued cuteness above all else (we need more ancient civilizations like that).

In short, the Kabaya Saku Saku Panda Face Monaka Mix Cookie Chocolate White Air Chocolate is delightfully whimsical, knowing exactly what it intends to be (even if I don't) and embracing its purpose wholeheartedly.

So I'm a fan of its design, no doubt about it. But how does it taste? Well, first I feel it's necessary to explain that it's not what you would normally expect from a cookie; it is a wafer shell filled with vanilla and chocolate sugar "cream." As for the flavor: it tastes exactly as one would hope. Image eating a vanilla wafer cookie and chocolate wafer cookie at the same time, but with much more cream filling, and you've got a pretty good idea. It does not taste expensive, nor luxurious, but neither does it try to. It is simply processed sugary goodness in a fun-shaped shell, and it earns my respect for being true to itself.

I rate the Kabaya Saku Saku Panda Face Monaka Mix Cookie Chocolate White Air Chocolate (still sticking with that name) a 3. It is not a top-of-the-line candy, but, to repeat myself, it doesn't pretend to be, and, by golly, I like it! If you enjoy an occasional wafer-and-sugar treat, give one a try yourself.

Just be sure to ask for it by name.

'Til I'm back (with some sweet snack),
The Sweets Fiend

Pandas are an endangered species. Maybe it's because they're so delicious?

2 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you liked it! While I'm obviously ashamed for not registering immediately that this was a Japanese snack, I'd be even more ashamed if it had gotten a 2...or even a dread 1. Anyway, in my book cuteness is more than 1/2 the battle, so I'm thrilled and I'll definitely have to pick one of these up for myself next time I'm at the Korean store.

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  2. Hope you'll like it as much as I did!

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