Christmas would also be the reigning champion in the "most holiday movies" category; there is no shortage of classic films celebrating the season of giving. Once in a great while such films concern what Christmas is all about or even what Christmas sometimes feels like it's all about, but by and large (perhaps in anticipation of the resolutions that so often arrive with the new year) they are stories of individuals learning to set aside their self-centered ways to become better, more generous souls.
I have seen many such movies during the many Christmases of my life. While many have a lot to offer (such as the most suspenseful sixty seconds of my entire childhood), with each passing year I find myself growing more and more fond of "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. No seasonal tale of reformation (sorry, Alfred Nobel) has stood the test of time like that of the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge and the spirits who visit him in a plea for repentance. It is a story retold by everyone from the Muppets to Mr. Magoo, and though cinematic adaptations can never truly capture the brilliant literary artistry of Mr. Dickens, the story is no less compelling in any form.
It is almost enough to inspire me to be a better Sweets Fiend. A kinder Sweets Fiend. A good (one might even say "bueno") Sweets Fiend.
How fitting, then, that today's review subject is Kinder Bueno (admittedly not one of my better transitions)!
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| I don't know about you, but my Christmas just got a little more... bueno! |
I am not a complete stranger to Kinder products, and my exposure to the brand, though limited, has always been favorable. Kinder is a German line of products created by Italian manufacturer Ferrero. So what we have here is a product with a Spanish name from a German branch of an Italian company, made in Poland, purchased in Scotland, and about to be eaten by an American. Oh, what a world we live in!
The Bueno is a milk and hazelnut treat, Kinder's first product aimed at adults. Devoted readers (or German-speaking folk) might remember that "kinder" is German for "children," so it would make sense for the brand to have no adult-oriented aspirations. But somewhere along the line I suppose Ferrero realized that kids do not account for a substantial portion of the world's economy and decided to expand the "Children" product line in a direction that I, for one, find a tad uncomfortable.
The package design shows Kinder's trademark blend of skillful artwork and mediocre design choices. The brand's logo and signature sterile white background are as unappealing as the candy images are beautiful, and the font choice for the product's name seems as confused as the decision to stray from the normal target demographic. I suspect that Kinder has some talented artists who were simply unable to reconcile the conflicting goals given them.
It's not a failure by any means, but I do not think it unfair to suggest that there is room for improvement here.
Speaking of failure, let's move on to the expiration date, shall we?
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| Excuse me while I hang my head in shame. |
The "best before" section is explicitly marked and offers a charitable amount of information. But once again I have missed the proposed date by more than a few days (how many times must I say that?). The Ghost of Candy Past (its expiration date) whisked me back to the week before said date to show me that I was too busy with vacation preparations to make note of my precious Bueno's imminent doom.
Point taken.
Still, I thoroughly enjoyed my vacation, so if candy was going to expire, it might as well have done so and decreased the surplus population (of candy in my sweets stash, that is).
But anyhow, back to the review...
The nutrition information panel and ingredients list are both well designed but poorly placed, wrapping clear around the side of the package. This made reading the data difficult and photographing it all but impossible, so all photos were taken after the wrapper was opened completely. Just one more possible improvement in the package design, I guess.
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| What doesn't kill me makes me fatter. |
The Bueno is pretty average Calorie-wise (assuming one eats an entire two-pack versus a typical candy bar), but rather high in fat content. On the plus side, the sodium content isn't too bad. I figure it doesn't really matter in the end; too much candy will wind up killing me one way or another anyhow.
But it's all within the realm of reasonable in the world of sweets, so it's time to progress to the ingredients list:
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| The plain white background adds to the excitement! |
As Bueno is sold in a variety of countries throughout the world, it is perfectly sensible to include the ingredients list in several languages. Granted, it adds to the reader's struggle even more than the aforementioned "wrap-around" effect, but I understand the purpose. Presenting the allergens in large, bold letters helps break up the monotony of the list somewhat and practically eliminates the need for the allergen list (aside from any legal requirements).
But there's nothing too interesting within the list, anyhow. Milk, chocolate, and hazelnuts are all givens, and the rest are things I see on just about every package I come across.
No surprises here!
That is, until I actually opened the package and discovered that Bueno sticks are individually wrapped! This is not often the case with twin-packed items, but it is always refreshing to discover, and it gives one more confidence in the longevity of the product (especially to those who've slipped past the expiration date).
At this point, I was feeling rather hopeful regarding the status of my Bueno, but the Ghost of Candy Present warned "If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, the candy will go bad," so
I wasted no time in ripping open the clear wrapper to get at one of the sticks!
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| This is not a child's candy bar. It is mine. All mine. |
Let me tell you, the Kinder Bueno is a thing of beauty. Each "stick" is composed of four connected pieces and drizzled with stripes of chocolate. It is certainly more elegant than Kinder's Happy Hippo biscuits I've had before (imagine that)! I hate to keep bringing up the package design, but I think it does a great disservice to the product, cheapening its reputation. Still, there is a sense of accessibility to the Bueno not present in the most luxurious of chocolate treats, much in the way some celebrities seem able to keep in tune with their humble beginnings despite their success. Even their bottoms display a hint of mass-produced whimsy (I'm speaking of the candy here, not celebrities; sorry for any confusion).
But it's not just another pretty face (though I really don't see what's wrong with another pretty face, myself); the Kinder Bueno is marvelous inside and out, with textures and flavors expertly balanced. The chocolate, the cream... everything felt just right.
Here's the only problem: I'm apparently not into hazelnut. I've had my suspicions in the past, but I think this may confirm it. I could find no blunder on Kinder's part here, yet it was just okay to me.
More than any other time in the past, I wrestled with the scoring on this one; I would highly recommend this product to any hazelnut lover (Ferrero is no novice when it comes to chocolate/hazelnut treats, after all) and feel it deserves at least a 3 for its achievements, but I am not the least bit tempted to purchase another for myself.
It is therefore with great reluctance that I rate the Kinder Bueno a 2. Not because it is not a great product (double negative, anyone?), but due to the parameters set up in my rating system. Every rating system has its flaws, and mine is no different; its shortcomings have been exposed today without mercy.
Ah, the trials and tribulations of candy reviewing!
But I'd better be on my way... I believe I see the Ghost of Candy Yet to Come pointing a bony finger in the general direction of my candy stash.
Apparently I've still got some work to do.
Wishing one and all a Bueno Christmas,
The Sweets Fiend
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| The only thing wrong with this is the man behind the camera. |
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