Sunday, September 20, 2015

#13 - Nestlé Aero 2 in 1

I have never been a superstitious individual (knock on wood), and that can come in handy at a time like today, when I am poised to review my thirteenth candy (particularly after my last debacle). The fear of the number thirteen (or "triskaidekaphobia," if you want to sound like you know what you're talking about) is a puzzling one, with uncertain origins but some odd consequences over the years.

For instance, most people have heard of buildings "without" a thirteenth floor (just don't try and count). Less well known is the quatorzième (literally "fourteenth"), a professional dinner guest in nineteenth century Paris whose job was to bring an unlucky party of thirteen up to a more fortuitous fourteen. If that ever makes a comeback, I may apply for the position; getting paid to fill a seat and stuff my face sounds like my kind of a career!

The point is, some people take their numbers very seriously. Consider the legend of poor Hippasus, who may or may not (though most likely not) have been drowned by the Pythagoreans for proving the existence of irrational numbers (which, ironically, would have been an extremely irrational reaction).

I reiterate: some people take their numbers very seriously.

As for me, I take my candy very seriously. But today's candy happens to include two numbers in one name, for it is none other than the Nestlé Aero 2 in 1:

"Two can't fit into one; it's twice as big!" - irrational and imaginary number fanatic

This one caught my eye while browsing through a store containing foreign candies, so the package design obviously works well, with chocolate and white chocolate bubbles and an effective, albeit plain, color scheme. Having never had an Aero before (2 in 1 or otherwise), I can only assume that the texture of the font is representative of the product somehow. Either way, it intrigues me and raises my expectations, which is really what packaging is all about.

Seeing the words "Bubbly Milk" takes me back to my childhood, where I (like any normal child) would blow into my milk, spawning a multitude of milk bubbles. Oh, the power I wielded! Even so, it is my opinion that "feel the bubbles" does not belong on any sweet, and certainly does not necessitate a trademark. Is the phrase really so highly coveted in the candy world? I am not a player in the cutthroat world of chocolatiers, but I would think not (if you happen to be a chocolatier and know me to be wrong, I'd love to hear from you). Even if the bubbles play a major role in the Aero experience, the Nestlé wordsmiths could have aimed for a bit more creativity. This isn't the first time they've let me down with a slogan; the Walnut Whip wasn't any better. Try harder, Nestlé; I know you've got it in you.

I don't trust this one bit...

The back of the wrapper continues the "bubble" motif, and a sticker was haphazardly placed over the foreign information for the convenience of the American consumer. The "best by" date indicates the product is still in its prime, though I am interested in the numbers covered up by the sticker; if they make up a date, it is a very different date. Hmm...

A quick glance at the nutritional information concerns me. The Calories from fat and total Calorie count are listed as the same, but that is clearly wrong. The fat content is 11g, which should make for 99 Calories. Also, the front of the package suggests that the total Calorie count is 194, not 182. Where did those extra 12 Calories go? You're not fooling anyone with your sloppy sticker work! In Nestlé's defense, I don't believe the sticker was their doing, but it's a shame nonetheless.

Added bonus: in the ingredients list, "flavour" ranks lower than "hazelnut paste." Oh, joy.

Anyhow, if you want the REAL nutritional information, you need to lift the back flap (always a good idea with candy). Sneaky, sneaky!

Tip for Nestlé: hiding the "nutritional compass" under a flap defeats its purpose.

That's much better. As the Nutritional Compass® says, "It's good to know." Indeed.

This chart is actually accurate, aside from a little misspelling and the lack of an Oxford comma ("depennding" on whether you feel an Oxford comma is necessary or not, I suppose).

I'd take accurate information in a foreign language over inaccurate information in English any day. Importers, take note!

Maybe it's just me, but I'd make flavor a priority.
Also hidden under the flap is the real ingredient list. "Flavour" still ranks poorly, but the hazelnut paste is nowhere to be found. I'm beginning to think that the Americanized sticker is truly worthless.

Additionally, Nestlé gives out some contact info, because they believe it's "good to talk." That is, of course, unless you happen to be a teenage girl, in which case Nestlé feels it's their obligation to shut you up. It's nice to see a company that still maintains wholesome old-fashioned values.

Upon opening the wrapper, I was greeted with the familiar Nestlé chocolate smell. It's all right, but it has always seemed sort of cheaply processed to me, and the Aero 2 in 1 is no exception.

I figured I should give the bottom side of the "bar" a viewing, because once in a while one finds interesting features there. That did not happen this time. The bottom of the bar reminds me of a thoroughly rusty sheet of metal, though more "chocolatey." But hey, it's my fault for looking, right? It would be best to not dwell on it.

The front is an entirely different story:

This bar is ready to party!

I am a fan of fanciful designs in my sweets, so I fully appreciate the bubbly stamping on the Aero 2 in 1. It shows effort and just all around adds to the appeal of the candy. After all, who doesn't like fun? I recall "I like to have fun" appearing on nearly every Myspace profile I've ever come across (especially girls; Cyndi Lauper called that), so that's more or less an ironclad confirmation: people like fun, and whimsical chocolate is fun! To facilitate sharing, the bar is split into several segments. Encouraging generosity is always a plus.

There was a sort of "fun" factor to the texture within, too. The airiness allowed the insides to collapse in my mouth. That sort of thing could easily go wrong, but I'm glad to say it succeeded here.

It's just too bad that the taste wasn't quite as fun. There was nothing wrong with it, per se; the promised tastes were present, with the white chocolate flavor being prominent. As much as I enjoy white chocolate, it just didn't move my taste buds in any meaningful way, and when I was finished with the bar, my sweet tooth was not fully satisfied.

I therefore am regretfully giving the Aero 2 in 1 a 2 (a very rational number). It's an okay treat, and I'd eat another if it fell into my hands (candy falling into my hands is always a dream of mine), but I have serious doubts about whether I'd purchase another one for myself. It was a valiant effort that just failed to hit the mark for me.

I'd recommend trying some iteration of the Aero bar if just for the textural experience, but wouldn't suggest trying too hard to get at one; there are better ways to spend your time (such as confounding a group of Pyhagoreans with mathematical proofs).

Definitely not a fail, Nestlé, but I still believe you can do better. I'm patiently waiting for you to prove me right!

'Til my sweet tooth beckons again,
The Sweets Fiend

Can't you just "feel the bubbles?"

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