Thursday, August 13, 2015

#9 - Cloetta Power Break 3

Sequels are all the rage nowadays. Why bother trying to come up with something new when you can just rehash the same idea again and again, laughing all the way to the bank? While the movie industry is very much guilty of this, I would say that the video game industry takes the cake (sadly, the cake is a lie). Whether talking about Mario Brothers, Sonic the Hedgehog, or any title with the word "final" in it, video game companies like to stick to the old "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" train of thought. I can't really blame them; they are, after all, in the business of making money, and familiarity sells.

When I was young, I dreamed I might one day be a cog in that machine, creating video games for a living. That didn't quite pan out, as you may have guessed, though I've never had a really serious job, so I guess I came close enough. Anyway, my wife's cousin has a husband. Relatively speaking (pun intended), that makes him nothing to me. But he does work in the video game industry, so he's got a pretty cool job for a "nothing." He occasionally gets to (or, depending on how you look at it, has to) travel the world for his job and was kind enough to collect a sampling of foreign candy to send my way (I think that's probably the main reason he took the job, actually). It was quite generous, considering I am "nothing" to him, as well.

Now, I clearly brought up video games to explain how I acquired my latest sugary treat, but why did I bring up sequels? Why, because today's review concerns Cloetta's Power Break 3:

Power Break 3, bringing the Power Break trilogy to a thrilling conclusion!

I have come across many variations on candy bars over the years, but never have I seen an actual sequel! I think Cloetta is on to something. Why does this not happen more often? Why is there no Snickers 2: Full-Blown Laugh? How about Zero Bar 2: More than Nothing? The candy bar sequel market is largely untapped at this point, and whoever leads the inevitable revolution is sure to make a killing!

But let's take a closer look, shall we? The packaging is all right, I guess. There's a definite comic book vibe going on, which kind of works, since comics are another area in which originality is frowned upon (old characters are just "reinvented"). There's also a serious attempt at expressing excitement; if Power Break happened to be a series of movies (admit it, you'd watch them), they would most certainly be in the action genre. However, I don't feel the attempt was entirely successful in achieving the desired effect. I would suggest that the wonderful (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here) folks at Cloetta watch some footage of Kool-Aid Man for inspiration on compelling "break" visuals.

If you've watched any series of action movies, chances are you are aware that the protagonist generally discovers a new love interest in each one. The same is true of the Power Break series. Power Break 1 is described as "Chocolatebar packed with crunchy wafers and boosted with toffee and hazel nuts..." Meanwhile, Power Break 2 is "Chunky chocolatebar with chewy choco nougat and almonds," and Power Break 3 is "Chocolatebar packed with juicy raisins and serious crunch..." Note that the text marked in red is also red on the packaging. Just trying to be authentic here. I do like that the descriptions are in a comic book style text box, though I'm not sure the quotation marks are needed. Who is saying this about the Power Break bars? Cloetta, I guess.

It is often said of trilogies that the first is the best, followed by the third, with the second being the worst of the three. I don't know who came up with the theory, but I do recall reading that somewhere online, so it must be true. If that's the case here, this should be right smack in the middle, quality-wise. So at least my top secret video game industry candy supplier didn't send me a completely inferior Power Break bar. I appreciate that.

A look at the back of the packaging reveals some items of interest:

You want to know the Calorie count of a Power Break 3 bar? Figure it out yourself, you lazy bum!

First off, I want to say that the back of the wrapper is more a very dark green (with lighter edges) than black, but as I am convinced that Power Break 3 is the "dark" themed bar in the series, I wanted to emphasis the darkness in the pictures. Blogger's prerogative, after all.

The "best by" date is August 13th, so I just barely made it. Whew! The package informs the consumer that Cloetta supports sustainable cocoa farming (and elsewhere sustainable palm oil). While perhaps not as noble a cause as the anti-choking campaign of the Walnut Whip, it is still very honorable. What the package fails to include, though, is nutritional information for the bar itself. There is information provided per 100g, but the Power Break 3 is only 48g, meaning one must do a little math to figure out the correct values. This wouldn't fly in America. People would look at the Calorie count and freak out, their non-Nordic brains unable to (essentially) divide by 2. I say this with confidence, as I did just that in my Fazer Kina Wafer review. I am a failure as an international candy consumer. But I refuse to throw in the towel, and I vow to continue with my sugary adventures in blissful ignorance!

Maybe this would make sense if I'd eaten the prequels first.

As is often the case, the ingredient list is hidden under the flap on the back. And as I've come to expect from Finnish-based candy, the list is exhaustive (not to mention exhausting). It is thoroughly incomprehensible to me, so I'll just have to have faith that Cloetta is not sneaking any broken glass or raw sewage (or even non-raw sewage) into the Power Break 3. Perhaps I'm being too trusting, but I have a hunch they'd prefer for their consumer base to be as sustainable as their cocoa farms. However, something about the wrapper and name together causes worry on my part that the bar may be meant as a "healthy" candy bar. Attempts at healthy candy generally have no success in either the health or candy part, so I hope my worries are unwarranted.

Upon opening the package, I learned that the Power Break 3 actually comes in two separate pieces. This is always handy for portion control (particularly when the nutritional information makes one's head hurt), or sharing. Each piece is molded, which is usually a plus for me, but, in this specific instance, somebody in the department clearly dropped the ball.

I feel like a scatologist. That is not a good thing.

In keeping with the comic book theme, I am going to say that the bar segments look like Marvel's Thing took a summer job at a chocolate factory and had a terrible accident (keep in mind he only has four fingers per hand to begin with). I am going with that because I favor that explanation to what it also reminds me of, and I'd just finished writing about trusting that sewage was not in the ingredients. If a consumer is hoping that your candy is meant to resemble severed comic book character fingers, you may want to rethink your mold design.

The "finger segments" are thick and solid, and the smell falls somewhere between a Nestlé Crunch bar and a Kit Kat. So, in other words, it smells much better than it looks, which is hardly an accomplishment.

I cannot believe this was the attractive side.

The back of the candy looks remarkably like the back of a Nestlé Crunch bar, which should not be a shock, as it's a similar idea; I mean, it boasts a "serious crunch," after all! It is also far more appetizing than the front. Again, not really an accomplishment. It's rather sad, to be completely honest.

To say I had mixed feelings about my taste buds exploring the flavors of the Power Break 3 is an understatement. In addition to any previously mentioned concerns, chocolate covered raisins are just all right to me, and I was frankly expecting this to be a poor example of a chocolate-raisin partnership.

Crunchy, chewy goodness! What?!

Against all odds, I was proven wrong. The raisins really worked surprisingly well; they did not overpower the taste, just added a sweetness and pleasant chewiness. They had the ratios down pat. The only part that fell short for my tastes, tragically, was the chocolate. It was just okay. That's too bad, as it was otherwise a delightful treat. With some A+ chocolate, we'd have a real winner on our hands (well, on my hands; you haven't been eating a Power Break 3, have you?).

Due to its less-than-stellar chocolate, I am rating the Power Break 3 a 3 (isn't that convenient?). I did enjoy it, and it left me with a full feeling most candy bars do not achieve (which may mean I should not have eaten both pieces in one sitting). Unless one has a strong aversion to raisins (or sequels), the Cloetta Power Break 3 is a worthy addition to any candy "bucket list."

But you don't have to take my word for it; let Swedish music group De Vet Du do the convincing with their commercial (?) or whatever THIS is (WARNING: It cannot be unseen).

Not too shabby, Cloetta.

May your days be as sweet as your candy,
The Sweets Fiend


This makes me ever so thankful for my other four senses.

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